The Halo Randomness Adventure
by Neptin The Sangheili
Summary: Just a random halo story i've made. About 2 boys named Josh and Kris who are both retarded and so is the narrator and sadly they go on an adventure. Rated T for strong language.
1. Chapter 1

**The Halo Randomness Adventure**

**Chapter 1**

_Hey guys this is Neptin The Sangheili and what I'm about to show you is a random book about halo. I hope you like random/serious books! Enjoy! XD_

Once upon a time in the year 2558 the war still rages on against the covenant and humans.

In the city of Mombasa there were two boys named Kris who is 15 years old and Josh who was 14 years old.

They were in their house and josh said, "hey dude let's turn on the news channel."

Kris said, "Okay."

Then Kris turned on the television and the gay sex channel was turned on.

Kris said, "WHAT THE FUCK! CHANGE THE CHANNEL JOSH!"

Then Josh said, "dude just chill the fuck down!"

He changed the channel and the news came on.

The newsman said, "today on the news, THE COVENANT CAPITAL SHIP HAS STOPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING CITY! IF I WERE YOU I WOULD GET YOUR ASSES OUT OF MOMBASA AND LEAVE, YOU FUCK! Thank you for your corporation."

Then they turned off the TV and Kris said in shock, "That was random!"

Then Josh said angrily at Kris, "That is why they called it Halo of Randomness! I guess you didn't know!"

Kris said, "Well, I didn't know."

Then Josh said frustrated to Kris, "That is why the readers will think that you're an dumbass in the story!"

Then Kris said in a girly way, "HMPH!"

Then Josh said in a funny/mean way, "Yeah and you like it too!"

Kris said, "We got to leave Mombasa."

Josh said, "Okay."


	2. Chapter 2

**The Halo Randomness Adventure**

**Chapter 2**

_Sup, enjoy next chapter!_

The boys were packing to leave Mombasa because the crazy newsman said so.

While they were packing Kris said, "Why are we packing to leave."

Josh said, "The weatherman said so."

Then Kris said, "Why can't we stay here? I can't put my Xbox 360 in my suitcase anyway."

Josh said, "OH WOW YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR FUCKING XBOX BUT NOT ME WELL THANKS YOU RETARD!"

Kris said, "I did not say that! WOW!"

After when they stopped arguing for over nothing they left.

Then Kris said, "Josh let's stay here we can fight the covenant by ourselves."

Josh said, "You don't even have any weapons! How the hell are you supposed to get weapons at a time like this?"

Next thing you know, randomly a guy said, "Weapons for sale!"

Then Kris said, "There."

Then they got weapons.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Halo of Randomness Adventure**

**Chapter 3**

A few hours later, they were ready for anything.

There was a loud banging at the door.

They hid to see what happens next.

The door flew open and there were two grunts and one elite.

Kris whispered, "Oh crap they're here. We are going to die. We are going to die!"

Josh whispered back, "Hey, shut the fuck up they will hear us."

The elite said, "Did you hear that my brothers?"

The first grunt said, "No. I didn't hear anything. Come on let's go!"

The elite said, "I'll stay here for a few minutes. You go"

The second grunt said, "Okay hurry up!"

Then the two grunts left.

The elite started looking for that sound he heard while he pulled out his plasma sword.

Then the elite saw them.


	4. Chapter 4

**The Halo Randomness Adventure**

**Chapter 4**

_I hope you like this part._

Then the elite said, "Humans must die!"

Kris and Josh screamed like little girls.

Then the elite picked up Kris and said, "This is the last that your pathetic eyes will see!"

Then Josh held up an assault rifle and said, "Put the retard down you dick face!"

Kris said, "That's not nice."

Then the elite said in an evil way, "Okay."

Then he stabbed Kris where the left lung is with a plasma sword.

Then the elite skipped away like a little girl.

Then Josh said angrily, "WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!"


	5. Chapter 5

**The Halo Randomness Adventure**

**Chapter 5**

"Josh I can't go on here take my condoms" said Kris while coughing.

Josh said, "Dude he missed you're going to live (sadly), and what the fuck would I need a condom for?"

Kris said acting like he didn't say that, "I don't know what you're talking about. Okay let's go."

Josh said with a confused face, "Okay?"

Then they went outside then randomly got captured by the covenant.

The fleet master said, "Are you Josh and Kris?"

Josh and Kris said at the same time, "Oh, shit!"


	6. Chapter 6

**The Halo Randomness Adventure**

**Chapter 6**

_Enjoy :D_

They both are in a covenant cell.

Then Kris said, "LET US GO I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND I ALSO DON'T CARE WHAT YOU WANT!"

Then the fleet master said, "We need your help to win the war and you also contain information about humans."

Then Kris said, "Who told you this?"

The fleet master said, "Our leader of course."

Then Josh said, "You mean the gay profits, hehe.

Kris laughed too.

The fleet master said angrily, "WHY YOU!"

He picks up Josh and says, "If I were you I wouldn't say that again! GOT IT?"

Josh said in a stupid way, "Yes mom!"

He drops josh then the fleet master walks away leaving Kris and Josh in the cells with guards guarding them.


	7. Chapter 7

**The Halo Randomness Adventure**

**Chapter 7**

Kris was sleeping like a baby and Josh was pacing around in frustration like a drama queen.

Josh yelled, "FUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

Then Kris said, "Dude, shut the hell up I'm sleeping!"

Josh yelled, "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SLEEPING ON A TIME LIKE THIS!"

Kris said comfortably, "Because these beds are comfortable."

Then a grunt who is guarding them said, "Yes they are."

Josh huffed and started pacing like a drama queen, again.

Then the door opens to the cell room.

It wasn't the fleet master but it is an elite.

I wonder who it is.

_Can you guess guys?_


	8. Chapter 8

**The Halo Randomness Adventure**

**Chapter 8**

The covenant who is guarding Kris and Josh said, "The Arbiter!"

Then the arbiter said to Kris and Josh, "You are going to give us information about how to end the war or you will die!"

Then Kris said, "NO, YOU UGLY PIECE OF SHIT!"

Josh whispered, "Kris you're a retard."

Then the Arbiter laughed in an evil way and said, "You shouldn't have said that."


	9. Chapter 9

**The Halo Randomness Adventure**

**Chapter 9**

The Arbiter picked up Kris and threw him across the room.

He threw Kris again, and again.

Then the Arbiter pulled out a plasma sword and picked up Kris again and said, "I told you not to have said that."

Then randomly marines came out of nowhere and took Kris and Josh.

Then the Arbiter chased the marines down but failed because they were gone.

Then the Arbiter was mad then said, "Search for those two humans and bring them to me alive."


	10. Chapter 10

**The Halo Randomness Adventure**

**Chapter 10**

Kris and Josh were fainted for a minute for no apparent reason.

When they woke they were in those Spartan suits. Josh is said, "Holy shit this suit is cool looking!"

Kris woke up too and said, "OH MY GOSH!"

Josh said, "What? What's wrong?"

Kris said, "I'm sexy! OOOOOOOOOHHH YEEEEEEEEEAH!"

Then Josh said to himself, "Why do I even bother asking?"

Then one of the marine doctors came back and saw Kris and Josh just standing there looking at their Spartan suits like they haven't seen a Spartan suit before and the doctor said, "Good your awake now let's test and see if your good at shooting."

They both said, "Okay!"


	11. Chapter 11

**The Halo Randomness Adventure**

**Chapter 11**

_Hey guys sorry for the short chapters but i like making them short because i'm lazy. Enjoy!_

They went to the shooting practice area.

They grabbed their pistols and began to shoot at the paper that is shaped like people or covenant.

When they finished, Josh shot all the paper that popped up and Kris, well, uh, he shot nothing because he was retarded.

Kris said to the narrator, "HEY!"

Finally after 5 weeks Kris actually shot the piece of paper and later he actually got better and better.

When they finished practicing, they went to the mission control room for their first assignment.


	12. Chapter 12

**The Halo Randomness Adventure**

**Chapter 12**

They walked in the mission control room and sat down on the benches.

The admiral walked towards them and said, "Here's your first mission."

He pauses for a moment and continued, "We need you both to head to this wasteland because a covenant carrier just landed and we need you to scope it out."

Then Kris questioned, "Why do I have to do that I dared someone to have sex with someone else's wife."

Everyone turned around and looked at Kris like he was a dumbass.

The admiral said, "Um, okay. As what I was saying, you need to do that are you up for it guys."

They both said, "Yes sir!"


	13. Chapter 13

**The Halo Randomness Adventure**

**Chapter 13**

_Enjoy guys :D_

They got dropped off by a pelican on the wasteland.

There was a cliff edge where Kris and Josh were.

Down in the cliff edge was the landed covenant carrier.

They both laid down on their stomachs and while they were scoping the area.

Josh said shockingly, "Kris, there's the Arbiter."

Josh turned to Kris and Josh said angrily, "Kris what the fuck are you doing?"

Kris was playing his 3DS.

Kris said, "I'm playing Nintendogs."

Josh said, "Turn the fucking thing off we have a mission to do!"

Kris started crying like a little baby saying, "But I don't wana! It's my 3DS.

Josh yelled out loud, "TURN IT OFF!"

Kris yelled out loud, "FINE BITCH!"

Then he turned it off.

They didn't realize but one of the covenant heard Josh and Kris.

The Arbiter heard it.


	14. Chapter 14

**The Halo Randomness Adventure**

**Chapter 14**

A few minutes later the Arbiter was already behind them and he said, "I didn't expect to see you again."

They turned around and Kris said, "Hey Josh, it's the elite who has the ugly piece of shit face."

Josh added, "You mean pussy face?"

Kris laughed while saying, "Yup."

The Arbiter yelled, "YOU DEAMONS!"

He pulls out two plasma swords.

Kris and Josh also pulled out two plasma swords.

The Arbiter questioned while being shocked, "Where did you get those plasma swords?"

Josh and Kris said, "EBay."

The Arbiter said confused, "I don't know what that is, but okay?"

They fought then the Arbiter dies.

Then Kris said, "Yay it's a happy ending."

Then the world explodes and everyone dies.

The End?

_Or is it._

_How did you like the story plez click the blue letters on the bottom and message me if you want a part 2 thanks XD_


	15. Author's Note

**The Halo Randomness Adventure **

**Author's note**

_So um i know its not the best but, its a book so what can i cay._

_Maybe you like it or...not._

_I__ don't know but i need ideas for a new story please help or __if you want me to make a part 2 of this i might but your gonna have to give me some time._

_Send me a message if you want ok thanks._

_peace XD_


End file.
